Pregnancy Woes and Distorted Views Of God

Writing this has been on my heart for some time now. Many sleepless nights, restlessness, trials and tears have been my lot for the past few weeks. I feel like a broken record anytime sometime asks how I feel. Sick. Still sick. Week 19 of pregnancy and yes I’m still nauseous every single day. Along with occasional heart burn, acid reflux, and exhaustion. Most of the time I feel bad even answering because I feel like all I do is complain about how difficult this is. Daily I need to re-focus and remember there’s a human growing inside of me - life. It hit me harder when one of my dear friends became pregnant around the same time as me and had a miscarriage - her second. How could I complain about about this little life growing in me? I am so grateful for this baby. As difficult as it has been and will continue to be, I am eternally grateful for the new life inside of me. Lord forgive me for complaining about this little, (currently) bell pepper-sized blessing.

The other main part of this pregnancy that has been so difficult for me is that I am a do-er. One of my “strengths” is Achiever. I like getting things done. I see every day as a blank slate and I need to cross off X number of things to make the day count and to feel like I contributed something. Being sick and pregnant and tired, I can’t really do much. Today felt like I ran a marathon and all I did was clean the bathroom (for the first time in a month). Not being able to keep up our house, cook, even make a grocery list without feeling like I’m going to puke is really hard. Because for me, I feel like I need to bring something to the table. I feel like a horrible mother and wife because I’m not contributing anything. No one has told me, but I feel like it’s true. On the contrary, many have told me that’s certainly not true but deep down I don’t believe them. You may say I'm dumb and I don't really believe that or feel that. But honestly, I do. I feel like a failure everyday because all I can do right now is rest. 

This isn’t something I struggle with every once in a while. It’s a daily struggle. To not feel useless. To not feel like I’m lazy and just taking the easy way out saying “my body needs to rest” as I eat saltines in bed while watching The Office. As I thought through this, and cried through it, and complained to my husband about how I am such a bad wife, I began to realize that this struggle is an issue between me and God. That the way I see myself with my daughter and husband is also the way I see myself with God.

You see, I’ve realized that for the past 5+ years of marriage, I partially thought I could earn my husband’s love. And now my daughter too. Even though I know Trevor doesn’t just love me for what I do-  organize the house, clean, do laundry, meal plan, cook, use coupons etc, I felt like doing those things regularly DID make him love me more. And when I couldn’t do those things anymore, I felt like an utter failure. I have cried multiple times over the past 15+ weeks apologizing to Trevor for not being able to cook or clean or do anything of “value” (in my eyes). Time after time he has told me to stop apologizing. That he doesn’t love me or not love me based on those things. That I’m growing a human life inside of me and I need to take care of myself and this baby. That he’s fine eating his can of clam chowder every day. 

As this continued, I realized that this stems from my relationship with God. That deep down, part of me still thinks I can earn the love of God, that I can earn salvation. Maybe not outright - when I think about it I know that I can’t. But based on my actions and my heart, deep down, I do. I think God loves me more when I do X, Y and Z. And when I don’t do those things, I feel far from him and that He is upset with me. That I need to do more to make up for what I missed. This whole struggle in being pregnant and unable to do the things I want to and even need to do has humbled me. It’s made me dependent on others. Mainly on God. 

For the most part, my sinful nature honestly believes I can function without God. Because I’m a do-er, I can get pretty far on my own. What a lie that is. I am so deceived when my mind turns to that thinking. These past 19 weeks of pregnancy have reminded me daily of my dependence on God. That I cannot do this on my own. That I never could even though I thought otherwise. I can't tell you how many times in the past few months that I've just felt so overwhelmed and said "I can't do this anymore!" Day after day, being sick and fighting through every bite of food - I just felt like it was too much. I've told God He picked the wrong person for this trial, that I am not capable. And time and time again I heard Him say "you're right - you're not capable. But I am." That His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I wasn't capable because I was trying to do this on my own, like everything else in my life. Shocker. 

I am reminded that I am loved by God not because of who I am or what I do but because of Jesus’ blood shed for me. 

It is foolish to think that I can bring anything to God’s table. Here I am, giving my best, thinking God needs me or is grateful that I am giving Him so much. I love this quote by CS Lewis which addresses this thinking

“Every faculty you have, your power of thinking or of moving your limbs from moment to moment, is given to you by God. If you devoted every moment of your whole life exclusively to His service you could not give Him anything that was not in a sense His own already. So when we talk of a man doing anything for God or giving anything to God, I will tell you what it is really like. It is like a small child going to its father and saying, ‘Daddy, give me sixpence to buy you a birthday present.’”

And yet that is what I do. I offer God my best, thinking I’m doing Him a favor. How foolish! So this whole struggle I have had with being sick and being incapable of doing much at all has made me realize I have a problem. My view of God and what He expects of me is distorted. I cannot earn His love or salvation. It is a free gift, not by works or anything I can do. And even after receiving that salvation, I am giving back to God only what is already His. I cannot add to who God is or His greatness. When I change my perspective and view it as just that - giving back to God what is already His - it makes more sense. I can’t do anything to add weight to my scale. Jesus is enough - He’s already paid what I owe. 

This has been one of the hardest seasons I have gone through. And I believe it’s been one of the most stretching and growth provoking seasons as well. I am grateful for how God has spoken to me in this season and how He has used people to bless me and speak truth into my life. I am grateful to know that I actually don’t have to earn anything. I realize that when I am struggling with something that I know deep down not to be true - like that I am unloved because of what I do - there’s usually a deeper issue. Most of our problems stem from a problem in our relationship with God. It wasn't until I got right with God, and believed that I don’t need to earn anything from Him, that my other struggles began to subside. There’s always a deeper heart issue. I hope I start there first next time. 

One of those Sundays

It's 12:07am on Monday morning and yet here I am wide awake, penning (typing) this out. That should be some indication of how the weekend has been. Lately I've been feeling, as Bilbo Baggins would say, like butter scraped over too much bread. I feel stretched thin - in my time, attention and energy. I should be clinging to His grace being sufficient but it has been hard.

This past summer was a trying one. It seemed to be one spiritual attack after another - from possible demonic visitors to our website being hacked, the trials seemed to never end. The summer is also a hard time because so many people are out of town which leaves roles to be filled and church seats empty. It was a stretching season but God graciously strengthened us in each trial.

Fall is here - a new season! That means some Portland rain (it was a hot summer), cooler weather, our daughter turns 2, Thanksgiving, and California weddings galore (you people need to stop getting married and having babies, seriously.) I am excited for Fall.

However, I know it will be a busy and trying season - though hopefully in a different way than Summer was.

Anyways, yesterday was just one of those Sundays where everything goes wrong. And that's why I can't fall asleep. The past few weeks have been hard and this weekend seemed to be the crescendo. When you already feel tired, having a weekend that is exhausting is not helpful. It all started Saturday morning when Trevor woke up feeling sick. Saturday is Trevor's study day (for Sunday)- however, he also began Seminary this month, so he had a paper due by midnight too. Oh, and the wonderful person who sets up our Sunday morning sound system, chairs etc (he really is great- I'm not being sarcastic here), let us know he wouldn't be there. This meant Trevor and I needed to set it all up. And the only time we could do it was Saturday night.

As I begrudgingly made the trek with our little family to our church building which, thankfully is right next door to our apartment, I felt a little bitter. Trevor was exhausted and sick. It was almost Ali's bedtime. Why are we doing this? We began to set up. And after a spider scared me half to death and I sliced my hand on a table I assembled, I again began to feel a little bitter. I wanted to text a few people who lived nearby to help us set up. It shouldn't be us. Others need to help and serve too, right? As I pondered these things in my head, I began to realize the error in my thoughts. Do I believe I am above this? Was it really that bad to have to set up one time when we have a faithful servant who has been doing it for us for months now? As I prayed through my emotions, I confessed my sin - 'Lord, help me never feel above anything. I am not. Lord, help me be grateful for the 99 times our church is set up by someone else, not upset about the 1 time we need to do it. Forgive my heart, Lord'

I was reminded of why were are here. We are here to serve. While our leadership team is amazing and they do so much, I never want to depend on them to do the "hard" work. I want to do the hard work and I am called to do the hard work. That's why we moved here. And while it was difficult and tiring and probably didn't help my husband's sickness, we did it. And I am grateful.

That night, neither one of us slept well. I could tell Trevor wasn't feeling better and after I threw some Mucinex at him at 2:30am, I began to dream about church the next day and that Trevor wasn't able to teach and everything was a mess. After that restless night, we headed over to church in the morning. Sound check went great. I was excited about doing a new song. A woman in our church brought delicious bagels (she's even gluten free- how thoughtful).

Service began and our small group joined in singing. At the second song, the new song, the projector went out. No lyrics. That's ok - it happens. As my sick husband got up to preach, I sat down with a nice cup of tea to warm me up in our chilly church. A few minutes in, one of the kids in kids ministry was brought back in as he was having a hard time in class. His mom recently got saved (woo!) and had brought her unsaved fiancee to church with her which we were excited about. Unfortunately, they were both in and out of service to tend to her son. Then, the kids came upstairs to use the restroom at which point Ali started to fuss. I helped calm her down and somehow got her to go back to class. As I excitedly sat back down (it's been ages since I could sit in service and actually listen), I managed to spill my warm cup of tea all over my pants. Everyone laughed. It was actually quite hilarious. Just another thing. It was almost as if everyone was aware of something happening. Satan's sad and sorry attempt at attacking us. We finished up worship and communion and chatted for a bit as we began tear down.

After arriving home and getting our nap-deprived child fed and asleep, I took a moment to text the woman who brought the bagels to thank her for serving our church. Her response struck me. She said what a "classic" Sunday today was - that she was praying so fervently the whole time that there were points where she couldn't even hear the teaching. She listed the things that "went wrong" today. But she ended with "the gates of Hell cannot prevail against what Jesus is doing through Nexus! What an awesome morning."

At that point, I hadn't even stopped to reflect on the morning. Looking back, it was crazy. So many things "went wrong" and things could've been better in a lot of ways. However, we aren't promised an easy road. In fact, we are told quite the opposite- we will face trials and tribulations. I remember in jr. high one of my youth pastors saying "where God is moving, Satan is opposing." I believe God is moving here - we have seen so much evidence of that, from salvation to provision, I could go on and on. God is doing a work here. Satan is opposing - but the gates of hell shall not prevail.

As tired and exhausted as I feel right now, I am grateful to be a part of what God is doing. I know I must cling to His grace, which is sufficient. It is. And in my weakness, He is made strong in me.

Spring Updates!

Well it's been a while! We've been in our new home for almost 4 months and in our new church building for 5! Time flies. We LOVE Sellwood. For those who don't know Portland, it is laid out in a grid system - there's NE, NW, SE and SW. The confusing part is that a lot of streets go all the way through from SE to SW. I mean this can be confusing because when we first moved here my friend visited and she said I'm at the corner of X and Y streets. I said great! I left my house to meet her and arrived shortly where she was no where to be found. Turns out she was at the corner of SW X and Y streets and I was on the corner of the same streets in SE. Same streets - different corners. Anyways, our old apartment was in NE Portland, about 5 minutes from down town. We are now in SE Portland in a neighborhood called Sellwood which is about 10-15 minutes from down town. Sellwood is an up and coming popular area. We live on the main street where there are a plethora of restaurants, stores and antique shops (literally there's at least 5 on our street). We are about a 10 minute walk to the Willamette River which is gorgeous. 

Church Building and CommunityOur church is also next door to our apartment and it's on the main street as well. Sunday mornings people are usually out and about (if it's not pouring), walking to breakfast or to the coffee shop right across the street from us. Many people walk by as we have church - they peek in to see what's going on. Last week a couple who lives a few blocks away came to church for the first time - they said they just saw us there one Sunday and wanted to check it out. It's a great location - easily seen. We are beginning to get to know the people in our building and in our neighborhood. Trevor knows every barista at the coffee shop by name, we check out with the same grocers each time if possible, and we frequent the same restaurants. It's such a good feeling to get to know our community and learn how to serve them.

Easter

This year we had Good Friday and Easter Sunday Services. We had about 35 people on Sunday. This past March also marked 2 years in Portland. On Easter Sunday I sat in the back of our church with Ali and just kind of stared in awe. I had a flashback of sitting in the back room of our home church in California about 18 years ago when it was about 50 people. How did we get here? Here I am sitting in our church in Portland with my 18 month old daughter. Time doesn't slow down. It was encouraging and emotional to look back on the past 18 years, and specifically the past 5 or so that led us here. God has clearly led us each step of the way and brought us to this point in time.

Florida

Last week Trevor had the opportunity to go to a pastor's conference in Florida. We decided he would go alone because it would just be too much for all of us to travel. This conference is HUGE - about 6,000 people attended and it included speakers like Tim Keller and John Piper. Before the trip, I really prayed that God would somehow bring Trevor into contact with people he knew so he could build some friendships with other pastors. We only knew of 1 other person going so this prayer seemed far fetched. As soon as Trevor arrived at the conference, he ran into a pastor he had met once or twice from Lake Oswego - which is 10 minutes from our house. This pastor had brought a group of 5 or 6 guys with him. They ended up "adopting" Trevor and he spent a lot of time with them. 

One of the nights, Trevor went to a cigar shop and sat down at a table near a middle-aged couple. The TV was on and the Blazer game happened to come on. Trevor noticed the couple reacted to the Blazers getting blocked on a shot so he asked them if they were Blazer fans and they said yes. Trevor told him he was from Portland. To his surprise, the couple said they lived in Beaverton - which is about 20 minutes from us! They continued talking and the husband shared that he is an atheist. This led to a long conversation about God and theology. The wife asked for Trevor's card and told him they would come to our church when they got back in town. This story gives me goosebumps! Our God is so big - He can literally move and connect and lead us in any way He wants. 

Prayer Requests:

1. Continued leading in our community groups- growth and expansion

2. Atheist Agnostic Bible Study - salvation for the people attending and for Max as he leads the group

3. Opportunity for Filipino Bible study to be led by a Filipino man in our church (more on this next time)

Thank you for your prayers and support - we appreciate them!

New Year, New Location, New Home

Happy New Year!

We can't believe it is 2015 and March will mark 2 years here! Wow. So much has happened since our last update - I can't wait to share.

Rust Coffee

As of November, we were meeting in a coffee shop in NE Portland. We met there for a little over a month. We knew that location was temporary - it was a small shop and there was no place for kids ministry. However it was just what we needed at just the right time. We truly loved that shop. It was small and intimate. Our services were at 5pm and the shop stayed open until 7pm. That meant people would be coming in the shop while church was happening. I've never experienced that before. People would sit and listen or come in during the middle of service. One night, there was a young man talking on the phone near the front where Trevor would be speaking. We politely let him know that we were about to start a church service and he was welcome to stay but we wanted to let him know. He said oh k thanks. Then continued his phone conversation and said, "Oh the coffee shop I'm at has a church service starting in a minute. That's Portland for ya!" So true. Church in a coffee shop was SO Portland. He ended up staying the entire time and afterwards came up and thanked me for leading worship. 

We were grateful for the opportunity to do church in a space like that -where on any given night we knew there would be 5-10 non Christians coming into OUR church. Incredible. We continued to pray about a long term location and asked God to direct us. 

Thanksgiving Meal

We planned our 2nd annual Thanksgiving meal to be at a place called the SMILE station in SE Portland - in a neighborhood called Sellwood. A few people in our church live in Sellwood and it is kind of in the middle of where everyone in our church is spread. We had about 35-40 people join us for the dinner and it was a GREAT turn out. This is a tradition we hope to continue on as we have seen much fruit from it. The SMILE station is an old firehouse. It has a kitchen and a room for the kiddos. We had considered it for a church location before but it was only available for morning services and we didn't know if Sellwood was the neighborhood we should be in. However, after having our Thanksgiving dinner here, all of our leaders felt a unanimous feeling of home  - like this was a building in which we could and should have church. We talked to our leaders and prayed about it and decided to move forward - make the switch to Sunday morning services and move our church to Sellwood. 

The SMILE Station

We have been having services here for a little over a month and we LOVE it. We signed a year lease and the rent price is perfect for what we need. Sellwood is a great neighborhood and there's not a lot of church going on out here. We all felt our church really needed some stability - a set time and location. A place where people knew they could come each week and we would be there. A lot of our leaders have stepped up to take on refreshments and worship - it's been incredible to see. God is doing incredible things. After deciding to do church at the SMILE station, Trevor and I really wanted to move out to Sellwood. We moved to Portland to be a part of the community we wanted to reach. Our apartment was about 15-20 minutes away from Sellwood and we definitely weren't "in" the community. We did some looking and found an amazing apartment RIGHT next door to our church building. And I mean RIGHT next door. 

We actually got in a tiff on our way out to view the apartment because I knew our lease wasn't up until September and it would cost about $2400 to break it. $2400 we did not have. I said why are we going out there when we aren't moving - it's not possible right now. But nonetheless - my husband, the dreamer and man of amazing faith, convinced me to go and see it because if God wanted to He could move us there. It wasn't beyond Him right? So in the beginning of December we viewed an apartment - loved it. But there were some obstacles. 

1. Our lease would be $2400 to break. 

2. The complex wanted 3 months rent - 1st, last and one month security. Which we didn't have. 

3. The rent was a little higher than could fit our budget. 

Moving is also expensive and while I didn't pray about this aspect, it was in the back of my mind. 

We decided to pray about it and just ask God to do what He wanted. We wanted to move but honestly I saw this as impossible. We couldn't do any of those 3 things. We didn't really share this with anyone -just a few leaders. 

I began praying and just said OK Lord. This is on You. We didn't force anything, try to get out of our apartment - we just prayed and waited. About 3 weeks passed. Then Friday December 26 someone in our church contacted us and said they inherited some money and wanted to tithe $2400 to us to break our lease. WHAT??? Wow. Trevor and I were both shocked. Pretty amazing. So number 1 was checked off. However, we had seen the apartment 3 weeks prior and didn't even know if it was still available. So Saturday morning I called the lady at the complex and asked if it was available. It was! I explained our situation saying we had to pay to break our lease and just said we couldn't afford to pay 3 months rent. She said no problem she could waive one of them. Number 2 - check. I then asked about the price - it was on a special so it was $100 off the normal price. We thought it was for the whole year but she explained it was only for the first 6 months. Trevor and I talked about it and decided that was too much for our budget. So I called her back and said I'm sorry - we will have to pass - we just can't afford that. She said no problem - we'll keep it that price for the year and after a year it will go up by the normal rent raise percentage. Number 3- done. There was NO haggling. No arguing. It was the easiest thing I've ever experienced. 

Every single obstacle that we brought to the Lord He overcame. And we did NOTHING. Well - not nothing. We prayed. He worked. On Monday December 29 we signed our lease and planned to move that week. We have a friend up here who has a moving company. Great Christian family and we wanted to support them. We explained our situation and he said because we were a church they could move us FOR FREE! And not just move, but also provide boxes, tape, and pack and move us. And they could do it on December 31. 

Ephesians 3:20 immediately came to mind 

"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen."

God did EXCEEDINGLY more than I could think or ask. Far above. Not only that, but He also took this offering of $2400 and multiplied it. One of my favorite songs is called Multiplied by NeedtoBreathe. They sing, "God of mercy sweet love of mine

I have surrendered to Your design
May this offering stretch across the skies
And these Hallelujahs be multiplied"

When we give, God multiplies. 

So by January 1st and in less than a weeks time, God moved us right next door to our new church building. He is SO good. We are excited to live in the community we want to reach. 

Thank you for taking the time to read ALL of this! I know it was so much but I had to share all God has been doing here. Much more to share in our next post - will share soon!

Prayer Requests:

1. More opportunities to serve our community 

2. Atheist/Agnostic Bible study - continued growth and fruit

3. Praise Him for His work in Sellwood and all He has done

Sweater Weather / scarf, coat, boots, socks, thermal weather

Hey there!

Where did Summer and Fall go? I have no idea! What a whirlwind! It's cold here now - 30s or so and rainy! Loving it so much. But it is COLD!

As I dropped off a friend tonight, I had a moment of awe where I realized that I was driving without needing to use a GPS and that this city is my amazing home. I love our city. It sounds simple but it was just a reminder of God's presence and hand in our lives - the fact that we are in Portland is pretty incredible.

Sunday Meetings
Since January we have been meeting on Sundays at Tabor Space and since June we had been meeting there every week. We have been praying for months about our location -if it's the right one, the right area, long term, etc. In Sept/Oct we had a few scheduling issues and were looking for other potential locations. We had 2 other places that became available and were praying about the right one. In the mean time, Trevor met with the pastor at Tabor Space to discuss our vision and their vision and see if we were going in the same direction and if our partnership could continue. We left the 2 other potential locations hanging until this meeting happened because he had a feeling this meeting would be very telling.

He met with the pastor of Tabor about 3 weeks ago and during that meeting it became clear we needed a new space. We were moving in two different directions and Trevor knew we had to give our notice. That meeting was on a Tuesday and we had service scheduled for Sunday. As Trevor and I discussed our options, we realized that based on his conversation with the pastor, the other locations also wouldn't work for us. That left us at square one. The easy thing to do would've been to stay at Tabor until something else became available. Smart right? Why put all our eggs in one basket (God's basket)? Let's just wait it out...But we knew God was closing the door at Tabor space and that deciding to leave there was an act of obedience - not choice. Would we obey God and leave that location when we had no other place to meet? Trevor felt sure that this was what we needed to do - and he also felt sure God wouldn't reveal a new location until we had cut our ties with the old one. We all believed obeying Him would give Him an even greater opportunity to work.

So Trevor announced on Sunday that it would be our last week at Tabor. As he said this to our church on Sunday evening at service, he followed by saying that we also don't know where we would be the following week. We needed God to provide some place for us to meet and when He did, we would let them know.

Needless to say, that week was a trying one. Lots of faith, lots of prayers. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Nothing. Ok God... this is your church. Where are we going to go?

Thursday afternoon, Trevor stopped into a coffee shop by his work that he frequents regularly. He talks to the owner a lot and she happened to ask about our church at which point Trevor said something along the lines of 'funny you would ask because we're homeless.' After a short conversation, the owner said she and her husband had been wanting to open their shop up to the community for events. She said she would talk to him. Seemed like a long shot and on top of that the owners aren't Christians. And we needed the space on Sunday. In 3 days. Trevor gave her his card and said to contact him if they want to talk about it. She text him that night and they set up a meeting for Friday morning.

Friday morning Trevor met with the owners and shared our vision, our needs, our budget, everything. They were so supportive and open. They were completely on board and said they would open their shop to us for our services to try it out for a few weeks- they wouldn't even charge us! We had a location!

A few things about this are incredible. The owners aren't Christians. They aren't charging us rent (at least for now) and since we have been there they have had more profitable Sunday nights than they have ever had. God provided a location for us in a mere 5 days. God strengthened our faith and reminded us of His sovereignty and goodness. The shop stays open until 7pm and our service is at 5 so we have people coming in and out of our church service - people sit and listen as they come in for their coffee/kombucha/tea. So many things God is doing!

I am so excited to share this and all God has done. He is so good. We have been meeting at the shop for 3 weeks now and plan to for the near future until God leads us elsewhere.

Our Wonderful Leaders
Lastly, another huge blessing is that Trevor, Ali and I were able to take our first family vacation last week. It was incredible to be able to leave our church and know they would be well taken care of by our leaders. Trevor has done an amazing job raising up leaders- he has poured into so many people. God has truly gifted him in this area and we have had a great example in this from our pastor in California. Since we arrived in Portland almost 2 years ago now (WHAT!!), we have been going going going without much rest. We are so grateful we were able to get away for a week as a family and recharge. It was much needed.



Prayer Requests: 
-Location -long term solution/short term? direction
-Nov 23 we have our 2nd annual thanksgiving feast - where we gather as a church and invite people outside the church to join us. Last year we saw incredible fruit and many who came to the dinner are now a part of our church. Pray God would do amazing things


Thanks for reading! God bless.

Summer Update

Hey Readers!

Thanks for taking the time to read- I apologize it’s been MONTHS since my last post. #blogfail. Will try to be better about posting updates. Lots has happened since our last post and I’m excited to fill you all in!

Sunday Services

We are now meeting every Sunday night - we meet once or twice at a rented space - Tabor Space - and the other nights we meet at a home. We just began doing this and so far the transition has gone smoothly. Definitely more to do and more to prepare for but it’s exciting to meeting regularly and feel like a “church.” There’s something special about meeting in a home - cramming in as many people as possible and sitting closely to each other. We have enjoyed it. We plan to continue meeting like this on Sundays through the summer and then reassess locations. 

Community Groups

We are taking a break from community groups for the month of July. We can’t believe that we have been doing these groups for a solid year now! Going going going and July brings a much needed rest for Trev and I as we have group at our house on Tuesdays with dinner beforehand. This seemed like the perfect time to break as many are on vacation and we just started meeting regularly on Sundays. We will reconvene in August. 

What’s been happenin?

We have had a few events - including a picnic dinner and meeting for dinner at a local grocery store that BBQs during the summer. We are hoping to pack a few more events in before this hot hot summer ends - it’s supposed to be in the 100s this week.. ughhh. I thought we left California because it was too hot??!! Hopefully it cools down soon. But it is a nice break from the rain - and Portland summers are beautiful. It stays light out until 930/10pm which is just unreal. 

Prayer requests:

-Direction on a meeting space- as we grow we will need a bigger space and its hard to know the best area since our church is scattered around Portland. Pray for wisdom and guidance to find the right place

-Sabbath - Trev and I needed a month off from community groups and are praying to be refreshed and refueled to start up in August

-Leaders- God has raised up many leaders in our church - we want to see God use them more and more. Pray for opportunities for our leadership to step up and be used.

Thanks so much for reading and thank you for the prayers! We appreciate it very much!

We've been here a year already???

Hello Again!

So much has happened since our last update - I’m excited to share it all! March 2 was our 1 year anniversary of moving to Portland. It is incredible to look back on all God has done and continue to look forward to all He is going to do. This year has been amazing, overwhelming, exciting, tiring, but mostly fulfilling.

Second Sunday Meeting

Our original second meeting was scheduled for the 2nd weekend of February. However, we encountered a snow-pocalypse which basically shut down the whole city! It was incredible. We were basically stuck in our house with cabin fever for a few days. We got to get out and play in the snow which was so fun. Amazing to think that this is our home and we actually have a winter! This did push our meeting back 2 weeks which was fine. We had a great turnout with about 20 people and 1 gal got saved! Praise Jesus! She originally came to our Thanksgiving meal and came to Bible study the week before. At Bible study, she mentioned she did not have a Bible. Another man in our study came over and asked if he could buy her a Bible because someone had bought him one years back. She was in awe and was grateful. At our Sunday service, Trev talked about Glorifying Jesus, Loving People and Making Disciples (Matt 22:34-40, Matt 28:16-20) which is the theme verse and mission of Nexus Portland. He encouraged anyone who wanted to accept Jesus to receive communion as a first step of faith. This gal came forward and received Jesus that night. The following Tuesday, we had everyone sign her Bible and gave it to her at the beginning of study. She teared up and was speechless. It was amazing to see God work through the people in our group. He is good. 

Leaders Meeting

We had our first Nexus Portland leaders meeting last week where we gathered together at our house for dinner. There were 9 of us total (including Trev and I). This was surreal! To think that there are 9 leaders in our church is incredible. This also occurred a day shy of our 1 year anniversary in Portland. We were able to talk about the vision and begin to determine the roles of each of our leaders. 

Community Group

I mentioned a while back that we had an atheist Bible study. This study currently has about 6-8 atheist/agnostic men who meet together every few weeks. They are currently going through Trevor’s doctrine series which he started going through at our East and West side studies a few weeks ago. A few topics include Creation, the Fall, Incarnation, the Cross, and Resurrection. The leader of this group mentioned they didn’t even have Bible’s so we quickly fixed that and purchased Bibles for the group. We are excited to see the fruit of this study. 

Highlights

This year a lot has happened. I wanted to share a few of the most exciting things. Even the fact that we have been in Portland a year is a miracle. God has provided for us in incredible ways from our job transfers, our support from our home church, having a core team, wonderful friends who moved us up here, dependable friends being brought into our lives, the list goes on and on. He has done great things for us. The most exciting things that have happened are definitely seeing people get saved and seeing people return to Jesus. That makes it all worth it - the move, the sadness of leaving our family and friends - everything. It is always fulfilling to see the fruit of your labor. And it is only by God’s grace that He has moved in such amazing ways. Obviously the birth of our baby girl Ali Michelle was the greatest part of our year  - she blesses us daily and we are so incredibly grateful for her. We are grateful that she is a Portland native and Lord willing Portland is all she will ever know. It is exciting to raise our daughter here. Our first service was also a highlight- seeing our momentum continue and seeing the people we have poured into for the past several months be a part of God’s work. 

What’s ahead?

We will continue our once per month Sunday services where we have a meal beforehand, celebrate in worship and communion and hear the Word preached. We are moving toward having regular Sunday services in the fall and starting more community groups. The main thing I have learned in the past year is that it isn’t about the end goal. This is not about having regular sunday services or 50 community groups or a church of 1000 people. It is all too easy to focus on the milestones and forget that ultimately, it’s about seeing people come to Jesus. All we want is to see people meet Jesus and enter into relationship with him. Of course we want to grow and have Sunday services because that's important for spiritual growth. But when we focus on that and the numbers and the milestones we often overlook the most important thing - the people. So we don’t have our hearts set on growing by X amount each year or meeting our goals at all costs. We just want people to meet Jesus. That’s it. If we keep that our focus, we know God will do the rest and lead us in the way we should go. 

Prayer Requests:

-Atheist/Agnostic Study - men to get saved, wisdom and guidance for the leader of the group 

-Leaders- that God would continue to raise up and develop leaders

-Wisdom and Provision in the next year- the direction we should go and where we should continue to meet

Thanks for reading!

www.nexusportland.org